Goddammit, Here We Go Again...
Sigh. So, I called out for being a slacker. Again. Because, you know, I'm a big fucking slacker. Seriously, I don't know why anyone expects anything less of me. I run on stoner time, I don't clean my apartment, everyone I know is lucky I draw the line at becoming a dirty hippie and actually shower and wear deodorant.
Why am I such a slacker when it comes to blogging, you ask? Well, mostly because my life is pretty boring. I know, I know, it's a shocker. But seriously, I don't do a whole lot. I work, I vegetate, I listen to music really loudly, I fondle the new Mac and then I sleep. Somewhere in there I eat weird vegetarian food and play with my deaf cat (it's a charming deformity, really). That is my life. I recently took the plunge and got cable (sweet, sweet siren song of brain rot) and now I will be doing even less with my time.
I've realized that there are few things in my life that I get really excited about...and that most of those things involve being a raging consumer and buying lots of shit. So, let's talk about my cool shit, shall we?
List of Amber's Cool Shit
#1--My new muthafucking iMac. Its name is Holmes, like Sherlock Holmes (and my iPod is Watson because I'm a literary gangsta, yo). It is totally smarter than me and I don't even care. Usually, I care about things like that. Right now I don't. Probably because it'd figure out a way to school my ass if I resented it for being insanely and amazingly beautiful and intelligent. There's nobody like you, baby *pet, pet, pet*.
#2--My crazy and yet totally awesome, yet totally insane kitty. His name is Bartleby. He is kick ass. If he were a human child, he'd have to wear a helmet to school. And ride the short bus. He walks around my house and talks to himself. I've seen him jump headfirst into a wall, repeatedly, for no apparent reason. I believe his awesomeness speaks for itself.
#3--The new album Return to the Sea by Islands. Now, I realize that anyone can own this awesome album so it's not technically Amber specific cool shit. And since all ya'll can be a part of it, I strongly suggest that you pick it up. It's kind of the best thing ever. Seriously. You don't want to be that dumb kid that everyone makes fun of, do you? Eh? Eh? Because I'm totally that bitch that'll make fun of you for being dumb. Consider yourselves duly warned.
#4--The prettiest dress in the world is mine. ALLL MIIIINE. All mine. HaHA! 'Nuff said.
Aaaand, that's all I can think of right now. But, there's totally more because I'm kind of a big deal.
Now back to our regularly scheduled squatting.